But I would walk (not) 500 miles

Since deciding to do the Camino, I've been trying to make some small changes in my life that will make life on the road for 6-8 weeks so much easier!

Firstly, I have started the walking, duh! And secondly, I've been trying to go to bed at 10.30 latest and get up at 6.00 every morning, Monday to Friday. The 6.00am wake up has been surprising successful. My key to success - arrange a skype call! Seriously! On Monday, I was supposed to call my sister - it didn't happen as she ended up not being free but I got up at 5.40, showered and was ready for her call at 6.00 on the dot! On Thursday, I did the same thing and got to have a lovely chat with Katetastic who is back in America. I miss her a lot. So if there is anyone out there who wants a Skype call in the afternoon/evening - let's do it!

I've also started eating porridge, ugh! (Shivers with disgust and fear). I still think it the mankiest food but it's heart-healthy and a good option for additional fuel to wake me up in the mornings.  What else have I done? Oh yea, I've read, made a cake,  did dishes and laundry, and generally cleaned my house. So, while my brain is still objecting to the earlier bed time, the earlier mornings are working out just fine! 

Lastly, a small update on this last weekend - I went to Chuncheon for the Dakgalbi festival. While the Dakgalbi was delicious and the company outstanding, I wasn't much impressed with the festival itself. My friends and I then had Uno's pizza at Yongsan station and while they made their way back to Jochi-land, I got ready for a great night out. I met up with my friends Conor and Oisin from Ireland and we went to this amazing bar in Jogno tower. It's definitely a place to go AFTER you've been paid as it was quite expensive. However, the atmosphere was lovely, the live music excellent and the views beautiful, particularly from the bathroom. I went in just to take photos. We then repaired to Hongdae where we went out dancing at FF's. A great night to be sure! (go here to see more photos: http://www.maggieblogs.com/blogymtimb/2014102k5ox3pzkaquqaz0312xnxjfbsomm78 - just click on the photo and it will take you through a small gallery)

Thursday Sept 18

I went for a walk (distance) and then hopped over to my friend Becky's once I made the topping for my Vegan Apple Chia Pudding. After a lovely time hanging out and chatting about what we were going to cook on Sunday, I hastened over to meet my friend, Adam, for a cup of tea and to discuss the logo for my cooking blog. Exciting stuff, mates! Success

Friday Sept 19th

Today was quite easy - after I got home I read some of Deeds of the Disturber  and then got ready to join some of the newbies for a dinner in a great local restaurant that I haven't been to in over a year. Afterwards, I joined everyone in the park for a drink before heading home to bed as I was up early on Saturday to meet some friends for lunch at Braai Republic followed by dessert and drinkies for my friend Luke 2.0's birthday. Success

Monday Sept 22nd. No time for walking today! Instead when I got home I started cooking for a dinner to celebrate Frodo and Bilbo's birthday. Only one friend was able to come in the end but we'd mushrooms and pork, vegan apple chia pudding (again!) and I made roast potatoes. Nommers! Afterwards, I joined some friends in the park for a chat and made plans for the upcoming weekend. Success

Tuesday Sept 23rd 

Immediately after work, my friend Nari and I went for a walk around Sejong Lake Park. We then went to dinner at Mekong Thai. When I got home I was shattered but I'd games to prepare for my 5th and 6th graders so I'd to stay up! Success

Wednesday Sept 24th

After dinner, my friend Stacy and I went for a long walk, then it Dr Who time until bed and I also coloured in a little of my super secret art project. Success

Thursday September 25th

Great day altogether. My last class of the day was cancelled for a performance in the gym - there was traditional singing, drums and dancing.  In the afternoon we finished school early and went to see a play about a boy whose parents have died and he goes to live with his grandad. It was quite funny and although I couldn't understand everything that was said, I still was able to follow along.

We then went to a military base (Korean) to have dinner which was fabulous! When I got home it was time for Wine and Crafts and I continued working on my engraving. I don't have a picture yet but will take on soon so you can see it! It's slow going though!  Success

So, I think overall this week was a bit more productive than last but work still needs to be done! 

PS This post was inspired by The Proclaimers "I'm gonna be (500 miles)

Are you sleeping

And on to week three! Wow time flies!  I can't believe this is my third week on this exercise. As you will read below things weren't plain sailing this week:

Friday, July 11th: This was a fantastic evening! Katetastic and I finally had our mushroom and wine night. We ended up out at the local Ministop (which is a convenience store) with some other friends drinking more drinks. Then into the pub for even more in an evening that culminated in Tequila shots. All in all, a great evening. Friday = Success 

Monday, July 14th: I wanted to finish reading my Mistborn book (I was reading Well of Ascension), so I stopped at a local coffee shop, had an iced chocolate drink and read until dinner time when I joined Swaglu, Katetastic one of Swaglu's friends who is visiting from the USA. Afterwards, Katetastic and I sat on the park swings and chatted. As we sat there slowly but surely quite a bit of Jochiwon joined us. I ended up getting a tummy ache so around 9 or 9.30 I abandoned the gathering crowd and instead headed home to sleep. Monday = Success

Tuesday, July 15th: Well, what was a tummy ache has turned into something else and I was dying all day in work. A wee headache, scratchy throat, upset tummy. I got a lift as far as the Office of Education so as I walked home (around 15 minutes), I stopped and bought crispy chicken. I know it's not healthy but the idea or doing anything in front of the stove just about killed me. I got home, made some tortilla wraps with the chicken and some balsamic roasted tomatoes I'd made on Sunday night. It was easy and semi-healthy. Afterwards I  fell asleep for 1.5 hours and then prepared some games and worked on my camps. I did watch TV (or had it on in the background, rather) while doing my work.  Tuesday = Success? Well, only because I was sick.

Wednesday, July 16th:  Ugh. That's all I have to say, well not literally as you can tell by the following epistle. By the time 4.30pm rolled around all I wanted was my bed. My throat was really closed up and all I had eaten to that point was saltine crackers and Chilsung cider (like 7-up). I bought meds, orange juice and a nice big new bottle of water. When I got home I decided some wallowing was in order so I turned on the TV. While it turns out I hadn't been missing much (besides CSI Miami and the movie A.I. There wasn't much on for about 30 minutes and I hate CSI Miami) until Modern Family came on which I thoroughly enjoyed. Good news, I did do half my dishes and my 30 jumping jacks for a July Challenge I'm participating in. For dinner, I ate some fairly unhealthy wraps with the remaining crispy chicken and roasted tomatoes. At 7pm tired out by these really exhausting activities (this is supposed to drip with sarcasm but as this is the internet and I'm not a very sarcastic person, that intent might be lost in translation), I fell asleep and slept relatively soundly until around 6.45am on Thursday. Wednesday = Not a success

Thursday, July 17th:  I bought baguette and some ham, did the balsamic roasted tomatoes again and made a sandwich. I worked on my blogs, did the dishes and packed for the culture trip I was on for Friday and Saturday. And then...to bed. Oh yea, still sick!

Well, I may not have watched much TV but the week was a disaster - no personal growth at all and all projects went to hell.

Oh well, you might think I'm mad but I hope to remain encouraged for next week!

PS The title of this post was inspired by that French children's song that I learnt as a child "Frère Jacques"

Learning how to dance the rain.

A little late, but firstly: Happy 4th July to everyone! My Mam's American so we have sporadically celebrated over the years. I don't remember celebrating as much when we were younger but in recent years we'd at least have some cake! Since coming to Korea, my first 4th of July was negligible - I don't remember doing anything special. Last year my friend, Swaglu, hosted a lovely party with hot dogs, soju drinking games and plenty of chat! This year a few of us shared pizzas, fried chicken and pasta salad on the rooftop of Swaglu's building. It was low key but we did sing the national anthem and some crazy people said the Pledge of Allegiance to a flag cake.

So how did I do this week on having no TV during the first hour home? Well, I got lucky the first two days and the others, well judge for yourself:

Friday, July 4th: Came home, cleaned and then roasted tomatoes and sausages for a 4th July inspired dish, When I wasn't cleaning I just sat and breathed! It was a very busy but also relaxing hour. I then proceeded to eat eat pizza and crispy chicken with some friends until the late evening. Friday = Success.

Red, white and blue warm salad. My contribution for the Fourth of July. The recipe will be on my blog eventually!

Monday, July 7th: When I got home, I heated up some Sunday dinner leftovers (pot roast!) and started reading Joseph Conrad's The Secret Agent, which was a Christmas gift from my sister for Kriskindle. It's really interesting but after about 10 pages, exhaustion had set in and Ifell asleep for around an hour and a half. Told you I lucked out! Monday = Lucky Success.

It's more than it looks like! That's part of what I feed my co-teachers! I just had the tiniest amount of that for dinner the next day!

The wee glimpse!

Tuesday, July 8th: When I got back to Jochiwon I went in search of some cardamom to make spiced tea. Sadly, Asia Mart didn't have any. So, instead I drowned (ate?) my sorrows with Katetastic at Misoya eating delicious food. When I got home I spent 30 or so minutes working on a drawing on the rooftop. It then started to rain so I went downstairs to finish it off. At the moment the drawing is a secret gift for someone special so I can't show you all of if, but here is a wee glimpse to the right: 

I then was overcome by exhaustion (see below as to why) that I went straight to sleep. I didn't even put on pj's, I just opened the windows and turned on the fan. (Note, in the morning I woke up shivering and discovered I was so cold because I forgot to turn off the a/c! Agghhh dreading that electricity bill!). Tuesday = Success.

Wednesday, July 9th: I was actually really good and got off near the Sejong Office of Education and walked home. It was really muggy and by the time I got to the lovely Liz's place to borrow some cardamom in exchange for some tea (it's that good, peeps, check out the recipe here), I was hot, sweaty and gross. When I got home, I stopped in to buy water and got an ice-cream. Man, was it delicious. I sat outside cooling off in front of my apartment and when I was ready, I went upstairs. I then made the tea and sorted some laundry to wash. I have run out of summer clothes so it was in dire need of being done! Have I mentioned before how much I HATE laundry? If not, well, now you know! While the laundry was washing, I ate chia pudding and a couple of bananas for dinner, worked on a new post for The Sejong Dish and did photo editing for this post and my post on my cooking blog. Wooo! Productive! And after that followed it up with Book Club (my choice - Waris Dirie) and a very important chat with my sister and niece (ok her chats were all giggles and coos, but still really important!). In the end only 20 minutes of TV watching - thankfully I'd already seen the episode of Criminal Minds and the hotness of Jonathan Rhys Meyers aside The Tudors isn't up my alley. Wednesday = Success.

Thursday, July 10th: 

Baduk - a traditional game

Another busy day! As Katetastic and I are are making stuffed mushrooms anddrinking wine tomorrow, I'd to go to Homeplus on the way home for the ingredients. After dropping my things off, I went to Plan B to play Baduk with another friend who is teaching me the game. That was followed up by a Fried Chicken dinner for our Chicken Strutposts on the Sejong Dish. When I got home I baked some brownies for my students and tidied my house, so there was no TV at all. Oh, the brownies? Yeah. Forgot I didn't need to preheat the oven as it's just a toaster one - they were burned and tasted more like a (dried-out) cookie. We'll still eat it! Thursday = Success.

So you might think I'm mad to have let naps become part of my hour but as the weather gets more humid I'm having a much harder time sleeping. This, coupled with nightmares and already terrible sleeping habits, has kept me fairly sleepless over the last couple of weeks. Nightmares? Yes, here I am a mature 31 year old having nightmares! What about? Being late for school, realising that I am then in the wrong school with the wrong lessons planned and having brought the wrong books. It's awful. It's been happening every night for the last week. It also panics me into waking early and then not being able to fall back asleep. Gah!

I have to say, sleep aside, I am really enjoying this exercise in self-control and the eclectic tasks are keeping me entertained! I may not be "learning how to dance the rain" but I am definitely learning how to live life a little more fully. I guess in a way these hours are starting to become the my "mini-dates" which is good because I am no way near to making 12 dates with my self this year! I've only had two more since that first one!

This post is inspired by Take That's "The Flood" (featuring Robbie Williams) and my efforts to have less TV in my life.

Home, home on the range, where the crisps and the tea are had.

So it's official, I'm staying one more year in Korea. I don't think I've ever debated more over whether or not to stay in a place as I have done for this decision. I started debating way back in September and on at least 3 occasions was convinced that I'd be having my last day on 01 June 2014. The fates have intervened though, and I'm staying one more year.  Why? Well for so many reasons;

• I like teaching.
• I have fantastic students (except for, you know, the troublesome few).
• My co-teachers are amazing.
• I have great friends, both Korean and Expat alike.
• I love my apartment, even with all the noise.
• I like being responsible for all my own decisions - from whether or not I just sit down and watch TV to paying bills. Whatever my decision, it's my choice and the negatives are just as much a learning experience as the positives.
• I like branching out and seeing more of Korea and the world.
• I like challenging myself to be better, to work harder, to write more, to read more, to go live more authentically and to make healthier choices. 
• I want to finish my bucket list, as much as possible.

Nevertheless, staying in Korea means one more year away from home and some creature comforts. So what is it that I miss most about my beloved Ireland? Well, number one: my family. Chatting to my parents, playing board games with my siblings, walks, talks and everything else. Taking trips together. Screaming with excitment at a match, especially staying up late and watching the World Cup FinalExchanging gifts on Christmas Eve, doing so on Skype isn't half as fun! My brother's terrible stories on Christmas Eve. Easter Egg hunts, birthdays, laughter and fun. Fighting with everyone. Seeing my nephew and niece grow up. Getting to experience  and partake in their lives.

Number two, are my friends. I really miss them. I miss being able to go to Butler's in the Pavilions for a quick cuppa on the way home. I miss having board game nights and eating at Indie Spice or Acapulco. I miss walking around HESC at lunch time or those quick chats during break time. I miss the long calls to friends who don't work with me any more, drinking wine, eating cake (and cake bakes!), travelling around Ireland and abroad. I miss just hanging out. 

After that I guess everything I miss is related to Ireland itself - whether it's the food, an aspect of the culture or even the environment. To be honest, I can go a long time without a craving for anything, but sometimes, I will get one suddenly and instead of having a lovely King sandwich, I'll eat a packet of these:

Or I will find myself craving some time walking along the Howth cliff walk with a nice breeze and the smell of salty sea air with every inhale. On those days I go for a walk along the river near my house or to the lake park. They don't come close but they are nearby. 

Climbing Bray Head, Co. Wicklow. 

While I can't capture the spirit, culture or environment of Ireland, I can sometimes capture the food and drinks. I recently have spent quite a bit of time browsing online shops to see where they deliver and to get approximate costs. Sadly, a lot of them don't deliver to Korea or, if they do, the prices are prohibitive for me. So, I wait in hope...or for some kindly soul to take pity on me! Nevertheless, I've included some links below - so even if I can't enjoy the goodness of Irish food, perhaps you can.

Howth cliff walk  (Photo courtesy of my sister)

The river near my apartment in Korea

1. While I have loads of Barry's teaat the moment thanks to two trips home and a wonderful mother and aunt, I miss being able to just pop into a shop and buy a box of tea whenever I need it.  I also won't say no to a cuppa Lyons. I was recently sent a box of Barry's tea by my Mam as she'd received a box of 600 teabags! It made me wonder if it had been ordered from here! Lucky Mam and lucky me! Along with tea, obviously I miss Avonmore milk. Seriously! It has taken me ages to make the perfect cup of tea here as the milk is really different. 
2. I miss all the cheap sweets and crisps from Meanies to Animal Bars.  I found some websites recently that deliver to Korea called PennyJellies and Irish Home Comforts, so I want to figure out a way to order these treats from there for my students. Who knows, maybe for a Hallowe'en lesson? 
3. I miss Cheese and Onion crisps and Salt and Vinegar Crisps. Especially crisp butties! For those wondering, I'm a wee bit more partial toKing but I love my Tayto as well.
4. I miss Kingfisher chips, and just being able to go to any chippers. Oh, and homemade chips made in the deep fat fryer on a Friday night, wrapped in delicious bread, smothered in butter. HEAVEN!
5. While Korea has certainly improved on the cheese front as you can get a decent range of cheese from cheddar to goat's cheese in Costco, the Foreign Food Market and even, at times, in Homeplus, there is something to be said for Irish Cheese. I miss Kilmeaden, Cashel Blue and going to markets like the ones in Galway or Howth and buying homemade cheese. This hamper, while it won't deliver to me, could be bought and brought to me? Any takers? Come on...you know you want to visit me (and Korea!)!
6. I miss everyone saying "thank you" when they got off the bus, even if the journey has been long, annoying and uncomfortable. I also really miss saying "excuse me" whenever the chance comes along.
7. I miss Griffith Park. I miss having such close access to green. While our garden at home is the size of a postage stamp we were always really lucky to live 10 seconds away from an amazing park. It's big, really green and has a river running through it. I miss having picnics just inside the gate or up on the hill. I miss playing football or rounders  (even though it's been years since I played), flying kites or just walking around the park. I miss having a place you can go to get out of your head and just enjoy nature.
8. Oh, and how I miss the National Botanical Gardens! Seriously, I live in such a great neighbourhood. I am only 5 minutes away from a beautiful garden with amazing trees, gorgeous flowers, impressive glasshouses and quiet walks. There is something so peaceful about being in there. 
9. I miss the libraries. Again, I live in a great neighbourhood and I was a stone's throw from Drumcondra, Ballymun, Phibsborough and the Ilac Centre Libraries. The amount ofbooks I would consume if I were at home! From Austen to Christie. From Tintin toNancy Drew. I've never been at a loss for a good book at home. 
10. I miss going on day trips around Dublin and further afield. Whether it is Howth in the rain, or walking barefoot down the river in Enniskerry forest, praying that nothing slithers or runs over foot. I didn't take near enough advantage of it when I was home, and now...now I can't. I miss being able to go to water - the sea, especially. 
11. I miss being able to fly nearly anywhere in the world with a cheap airline (and yes, I do try to avoid Ryanair). Weekend trips and long weekends away are harder to do here - I've managed one so far, to Japan.  

So you might think I'm mad to be missing Irish food as much as I do and you might think I'm mad to miss greenery and sea air especially since we have some in Korea. But, that's one of the advantages of being Irish.  You're never far from it. Sadly, though it's not as easy to get to either for me as it was at home...well except for the local mountain. That's kind of cool...and green.

PS The title of this post was inspired by the John A Lomax version of "Home on the Range".

There was an old lady who swallowed her fly

Do you ever get in your head that you want a particular book for yourself or as a gift? Has it ever happened that because of that, despite the fact the bookshop has millions of books you feel as if there is nothing there? Welcome to my world!

I'll be honest, this usually doesn't happen to me. Mostly, if I don't find a particular book that I am looking for, I spend hours wandering around looking for a substitute.  Sometimes, I will even change the genre completely. I've gone from searching for a Wilkie Collins to buying a Tintin. So, this winter, when I was in my favourite Irish bookshop (Chapters, for those in the know), I was alarmed to find myself becoming increasingly irritable in a bookshop. I mean, how is that even possible? I've spent entire Saturday afternoons in bookshops, never bought anything and still went home happy! I went to my next favourite bookshop (Easons) and again was getting more and more annoyed. I couldn't find a book that I was looking for or a substitute that I liked.

What was this infamous book? A first edition of a lost masterpiece? No. The newest Lee Child (Jack Reacher novels)? No.  50 Shades of Grey?  Not in a million years.  No, it was something much more elusive -  a book version of There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. We had a great copy when I was a kid and I wanted to share something with my nephew that was fun and catchy. My plan was that we would each have a copy of the book, so that when we have our Skype story time we both have a book to look at. I spent over an hour just looking by myself for the book in both the new and second hand sections. When this failed, I asked for help, and sadly that book hadn't been in stock for years. I didn't have time to order it as I was flying out that same week. So I began to comb the shelves to find a substitute. However, all the books that I looked at evaded my interest - the pictures were unattractive to me, the content either too wordy or barely any words and several stories uninspiring. In Easons, it was the same story and I was so frustrated with it that I decided to give up matching story books. I wanted these books because I don't own any children's books in Korea.When I have read to him in the past, I've had to bring books home from school and sometimes I didn't know I was going to get to talk to him that day so I didn't have a book. He wasn't impressed either with the stories I made up!

Eventually, thanks to one of my other sisters I got Chicken Licken and The Enormous Turnip. My nephew has his copy that he can follow along with at home, and I have my copy here in Korea. We tested it out a couple of weeks ago, and besides one or the other of us turning the pages too fast this went really well. This love of being read to doesn't stop at Skype. When I was home, he was read to by everyone! He loves kids stories, comics like Asterix and even factual books about trains and animals. His train one is a firm favourite. I think, in one day, I read it 3 times and his Mam easily double that! Whilst I was home, he got to go on the Luas (a modern tram) and a train to and from Athlone. I think he thoroughly enjoyed both trips as he was full of questions and chat about both modes of transportation. On the train, pulling into each station the announcer would say "Mind the gap" and by the end of the day, he was mimicking the phrase. He'll probably die of happiness whenever he is on the London Tube and hears the exact same expression. You might think I'm mad to believe that a negative experience in a bookshop is something that I am now glad has happened. You see, I realised that I had to "swallow my fly" to be able to find what I was looking for. Until I had put aside the absolute NEED for that particular book, I wasn't able to see the potential in all the other books. However, once I could the possibilities were endless.

Reading to my nephew has a few distinct advantages over reading to my students. While he may not know all the words, I rarely need to explain anything to him. Another distinct advantage is he asks questions for what he doesn't understand. I hope that someday, my students will have fostered their independence in English enough to have the courage to question everything.  I know sometimes my students have questions but they don't have the vocabulary to make the question. And as annoying as "But, why?" can be, I wish for nothing more than to hear those two words frequently from my nephew and eventually from my students. But, why? Well, it shows their inquisitiveness and investment in the story they are being read. It challenges me to find the answers to give them. To expand their thinking, to encourage their love of the story and their desire to know everything. For my students, it will help them to build their confidence in English and in their abilities.

Digging a hole with a stick

As you can probably tell, except for the one frustrating day in bookshops (still shocked that could happen!), I had a wonderful trip home. Some highlights for me included seeing some friends, having Afternoon Tea at the Gresham Hotel, my niece's christening and getting to see most of my relatives, and just hanging out with my sweet, sweet niece, wonderful nephew and amazing siblings, brother-in-law and parents.You might think I'm mad to be quite happy to just sit at home and giggle at a baby's smiles. You might think I'm mad to be happy with a short and busy two weeks in rainy, cold Ireland instead of a warm beach in Bali. Well, I thought I was mad at first to go home again so soon after my last visit in August. However, even the lure of a beach couldn't drag me from meeting my new niece. So, considering how much I enjoyed both these trips home you might really think I'm mad to have decided that, should I stay in Korea a third year, I will not visit home again until the end of that contract. It was a tough decision to make but I decided to follow my initial goal for living in Korea, outside of teaching: to travel and see the world.

At the museum

Baba!

PS. This post was inspired by my trip home, a negative experience and a favourite childhood book: There was an old lady who swallowed a fly.

PPS. I've bought us each a copy of that elusive book! It's his birthday present!

Family

So while I’m still healing

I'm not a huge New Year's Eve person. I don't remember the last time I truly enjoyed it in years. Ok, I do. It was my first year back in Ireland after college. My sister's friend MK came up for a visit and we stayed up watching Surviving Christmas and, I think, a Take That performance. We were dragged outside to greet the new year and then rushed back in for sausages and egg-flip. We stayed up late and, eventually, one-by-one crawled our way up the stairs and into bed. My younger brother and sister remained downstairs as they decided that they'd clean up so our Mam wouldn't have a heart attack first thing in the new year (yes, we were that messy). The next thing I knew my dad was shouting for us all to get up and come downstairs as there was a grand surprise in the kitchen. I remember grumbling and complaining that it was probably just one of the neighbours. I was so annoyed that my sleep had been disturbed (it was 9.am!!!) and so I reluctantly pulled on a jumper, scrambled for socks and shoes and made my way down stairs. A screech of excitement poured out of me and the rest of my siblings: My aunt from America was in town! She hadn't told my mam that she was coming and only the two dotes who had stayed up cleaning knew about it. We spent the day chatting, eating and, at some point, in Cineworld watching Happy Feet while my aunt passed out next to us. It was a marvellous  new year as was the one following that (wow,  this is not going well for my post about not liking New Year's!) as another aunt and a cousin visited us from America. My Aunt stayed with us on New Year's eve and we spent the evening drinking, singing, playing games and just having a good time. I think we all stayed up, parents and aunt included, until at least 2 or 3 in the morning.

Most of my New Year's Eves, however, have felt like a let down. There is this huge build up to what amounts to not very much. Maybe I'm a cynic and maybe I've been alone too long but I feel that, much like Valentine's day, New Year's is a couple's holiday and there is a stench of desperation in the air when you are single. "Oh, you're single? What are you going to do for Valentine's/New Year's?" "Oh, who are you going to kiss when it's midnight?" Seriously, who cares?  I'm fine with the fact that I am single and alone on New Year's. It honestly doesn't bother me very much. Do I wish I had someone? Of course, I do...but not for the sole express reason of New Year's Eve. I don't want someone just for one night. I want someone for a long time. Hopefully, someday, forever (the single, independent me got shivers typing that!).  I don't need anyone to make my life complete right now. I'm happy being me and living these experiences. Yes, I want other experiences like marriage, a husband and kids. But, I'm (mostly) ok with the fact that it hasn't happened yet.

There's a point to this story, dear readers, and to this rant, so please bear with me a little longer. Katetastic recently helped Swaglu plan a date for herself. Swaglu went on a date by herself with herself. My mind boggled. What the feck? Seriously? What.....?  However, the more I thought about it and started to reflect on my hang-ups and the things that bother me about dating, the more the idea appealed to me. For example, at the moment dating someone seems like a chore - I don't want to have to consider anyone else in my plans. If I want to go up on a Saturday morning to Seoul, I don't want to feel that I have to invite someone else. I know I'll feel different about it when  I do have a boyfriend or husband but in the meantime, I don't think I'm ready for this step yet. I am having hard enough of a time trying to figure me out without adding someone else to the mix. On the other hand if someone were to ask me out, I (probably) wouldn't say no.

Breakfast and a book

To that end, Swaglu's date with herself inspired me. The weekend that I celebrated my birthday, I decided I wanted to go on a date with myself. I didn't know exactly what to do so I researched.
 I knew it should be something that I wanted to do so I decide to do some reading, eating, writing and cooking. I also wanted to factor in some reflection time and some fresh air. It's getting to be time to decide on whether or not I will stay in Korea, and, unlike last year, I have no real clue as to what I want to do. Taking myself on a date sounded like a good option. I decided that I would get up early so I could enjoy as much of the day as possible and I would dress up using mascara, jewelry and heeled boots. And, unlike normal I decided that I wouldn't plan too much. I had vague ideas of what I wanted to accomplish and the only solid thing I had decided on was that I would read Waris Dirie's Desert Flower.

On New Year's Eve, some friends and I had arranged to go to Noraebang (singing room) and whilst waiting for everyone to be free, I decided to take my book and read at the local coffee shop. Shortly after sitting down, I decided I wanted to start my date early and had started to text my friend to tell her. Before I could send the text she walked in, dressed all sparkly and ready to sing. And it hit me. Yes, my date is all about me. And despite having the voice of a crow, I love to sing. So off we went for a fun time! Sometime around 1, after a tipsy call home to say "Happy New Year", I flopped into bed. 

When morning arrived, I got up around 9.20 and began what would end up being the most relaxing day I ever remember having. I'm one of those people who usually needs about 50 alarms to wake up every morning. I set one and I paid attention to it. I spent my day reading and eating, walking and thinking. It was a perfect day for a winter date. The sky was fairly clear and, instead of bitter cold, the air was quite warm and pleasant. While I did things that I enjoy - walking in the sunshine, drinking tea and reading.  I also did something that challenged me: I ate alone in a restaurant and I enjoyed it. There is something about coffee shops and eating a muffin alone that are just fun but eating in a restaurant alone unnerves me. I've done it plenty of times, but always involuntarily. It's just one of those things that I don't like to do. So when I planned my date, I decided that I was going to enjoy a meal by myself in a public setting. 

The Memorial park I walked to

Nom Nom Nom

I picked one of my favourite restaurants here in Korea, Mt Fishtail in Cheonan, which has delicious Indian food and I set off. I arrived and was seated in a both next to 4 men. A little unnerved at the idea of facing them the whole time, I sat with my back facing them and had a great time. I spent some time thinking of what I want from life. I then read a book on my phone because I had accidentally left my second book for the day laying on my bed. I took a long time to eat - over an hour  -and I just enjoyed the time that I had.

Tea time!

Afterwards, I decided to go for a walk around the town thinking that I could tackle a second thing that I don't like doing by myself: going to the cinema. As I made my way up the several escalators, I was giving myself several mental claps on the back for being brave. And then, I go upstairs. The Hobbit wasn't on, and since I truly wasn't really enamoured with the idea of going to the cinema by myself, I decided it was time for home. Although, had The Hobbit been on, I think I could have done it and enjoyed it! Unfortunately getting out of the cinema proved difficult as I spent 15-20 minutes wandering around trying to find the exit. I even took a lift (elevator), which is not something I embark on lightly, to the 1st floor only to have to go down tons of escalators because I somehow managed to get up 5 floors ABOVE where I had been. Eventually, I found the exit and proceed home for more tea and relaxation.

You might think I'm mad to go on a date with myself. You might think I'm mad to be scared of eating alone and of elevators. Well, let's address elevators first - I've been stuck twice in them and had to be let out both times. So that is a reasonable fear. I have been in them plenty of times but I don't like being in them. Regarding the eating alone. I personally think it's ironic that for someone who enjoys food as much as I do that I don't like this activity but then I think of what a meal means to me: It means sitting around the table with my family, people jostling for the best seats and the biggest plate. It means conversations and laughter, ribbing and memories. However, as I discovered on New Year's day - eating alone has value too. I just need to channel my alone-ness better. As for dating myself, it isn't because I don't want to date someone in reality, it's because I need to get to know me better. I need to look at what changes and challenges I want to face in my life. There are things that have been on my list for years like eating alone and going to the cinema by myself that I have never gotten around too.

I have decided that I am going to commit to 11 more dates this year and for each of them I am going to do something that challenges me. February's date will be about going to the cinema alone. I don't know what the rest will be yet, but I hope that this challenge/resolution has a lot of value for me as a person who wants to grow and be the best version of herself that she can be. For someone who wants to get married and have a family someday, that I can be ready for the things that will scare me then. Like getting married and having children. When I was younger I was fearless but somewhere between the last year of college and now, I lost my courage and my freedom. I became shy and scared. It doesn't matter why it happened, it matters that it did and the only way I can get some of my freedom back is to challenge myself. So while I am challenging myself to find some healing and courage, "just try and have a little patience".

PS. This post was inspired by my New Year's day, some great memories and some great people. It was also inspired by Take That's "Patience".

PPS. Thank you to Rucy for recommending the perfect book to get me to look at my life from a different perspective. I highly recommend everyone reads Desert Flower, especially if you are interested in the topic of FGM.

The most wonderful time of the year

Imagine you are in a room with bunk beds. Some people are lying in the bunk beds and others are lying on the floor, sleeping bags tucked up under their chin. A CD is playing. Toys, books and games are in messy piles waiting to be used. Instead, the occupants of the room are caterwauling their hearts away to "Santa Claus is coming to town!"  Ever so often, Mam or Dad poke in their heads to ask "Are you kids ever going to sleep"? Fast forward to morning, and I am the first one awake. I wait as long as I can (usually 5 minutes) before deciding that my siblings have slept long enough and I start singing (off key as it's the only way I sing) Jingle Bells or some other tune. A lot of growling, pleas to shut up and threats to smother me later, we stand at the top of the stairs, blankets wrapped around us, socks pulled as high as they can go, waiting on our mother's signal. Down we creep, each of us grabbing our Christmas sock. We file into the front room and wait for our dad to return with the tea (good guy, Dad!). Jostling each other we fight for the best seats and then open our socks, spilling pens, sweets and goodies onto our laps. Christmas day has started.

I love Christmas and everything connected to it - Christmas Eve Mass, the Nativity Scene, Christmas trees, lights and decorations, food, traditions and gifts. Coming to Korea, I knew that I wouldn't get to celebrate Christmas the way that I had in the past. While there were some traditions I wanted to keep (Kris Kindle with my family), there were some I had to forgo (my Mam's Christmas cake) and some I got to start. Some of these traditions I've decided to not only continue in Korea but for the rest of my life. What better way to keep a piece of my family and Korea with me always than by sharing with my own (hopefully, someday!) family.

Christmas is different in Korea - it's harder to get the turkey... and the spiced beef isn't happening....but you can still have the sides: mashed potatoes, garlic potatoes, roast potatoes, fried potatoes (did I mention potatoes?), green bean casserole, roasted veg and even pumpkin pie. It just takes being a little more creative. Last year, Christmas morning was spent having brunch with some close friends and their siblings. It was a lot of fun as everyone contributed yummies from crepes to chocolates! The evening was spent having a Christmas dinner where again wonderful food and company was provided. Now there are way more people in Jochiwon than last year, which means meeting in one person's house is really difficult. On Christmas Eve, a bunch of us are going to meet to exchange Kris Kindle gifts and on Christmas night I've invited the community to come to my house, if they want, for some drinks and maybe dessert.

Being with your family is probably impossible as an expat in Korea, unless someone visits you or you are lucky enough to get the Christmas week off to go home (on both counts, I am the queen of envy!). However, you can still spend it with people you love. Spend it with your friends and Skype with your family. That's what I did last year and what I am doing this year. My house isn't big enough to fit people sitting comfortably (last year at least 3-4 people had to stand to eat!) and as mentioned already we have a lot of people this year. Both this year and last year, I spent the majority of the day with my close friends and then the evening with my all my other friends. I know I wasn't the only one then and I won't be the only one doing it this year. My brother and his friends travelled distances to be together as their "family" his Christmas here.

I've already talked about how I have made decorations for Christmas and I mentioned the advent calendar. This is my new favourite tradition. A lot of times, I find it hard to balance my excitement with what the season is really about. When this happens I can become a bit snarky (Christmas 2011, anyone?). I don't like this side of me, so in an effort to combat it and so I don't feel "let-down" by Christmas I came up with my advent calendar.  This calendar allows me to put up one decoration a day from the 1st to the 25th December starting with the Christmas tree and lights all the way down to the baba Jesus in the crib. Every day, I get to put up one decoration (Santa decoration) or several types of one decoration (baubles). There are days where in order to put up the decoration, I must make something (snowmen and snowflakes). I have found that doing this has helped me to keep my Christmas spirit intact all the way through Christmas Day and even into the New Year. I've been quite busy this December so some things I am leaving to make on my birthday and even maybe the next crafts club in February (it's a sewing project, so it's allowed!).Another tradition that I have decided to start is making my own Christmas inspired foods and drinks: Non-alcoholic apple cider and mulled wine (my sister is going to send me the recipe..hint-hint), peanut butter cups (thanks, Jaime), mincemeat, and my own version of the Chocolate Refrigerator cake (original recipe is here).

Some other things that have helped me was to enjoy Christmas in Korea are as follows, and who knows maybe they will help you too!

• Listening to Christmas FM. This is is a charity radio station from Ireland and every year their charity partner changes. They play lots of Christmas songs and it's always nice to hear the Irish accent!

• Don't sit alone at home. This is key. Sitting alone at home induces wallowing and the cry of "Why me?" Go for coffee, meet for dinner - just get away from yourself for a few hours.

• Go to something Christmassy. Last year, I saw The Hobbit and I went to a performance of The Phantom of the Opera. I have yet to make it to the second Hobbit movie but I did go see The Nutcracker.

• Decorate your home. Even if it's just to put some fairy lights up - it puts you in good spirit, add in that music and sure you'll be laughing in no time at all! The more creative you are the better - I like making Christmas decoration and will happily spend hours cutting out snowflakes but you could also do what my friend, Rucy, did and make a Tripod tree. 

• Do something charitable, even if you can't make it to an actual place to volunteer, give some cash to the Salvation army or if you know someone who is involved in a charity, perhaps you can donate. This year, one of the girls in my town is organising gifts for the local orphanage. Another girl is organising a wrapping party for these gifts. Fun shall ensue! 

• With your close friends share a part of your childhood Christmases. Santa always brought stationery to us and I am passing that useful tradition on to my friends. Delicious roast potatoes will be my other reminder of home this year as is the tea, games and chats. At home, my family doesn't turn on the TV for the few days surrounding Christmas. Instead we partake in each others company. So in my house (while the computer will play music), no TV is the rule on Christmas day!

"Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night". 

 Clement C Moore

So you might think I'm mad to try and start traditions in Korea that I think I want to do for the rest of my life. You might think I'm mad to try and recreate as much as I can the Christmases I had as a child. Christmas is about magic and if you believe hard enough, then much like Tinkerbell, Christmas is alive and well. As my very wise mother once told me when I was being a bit of a brat, Christmas is what you make it - if you only let yourself get caught up in the commercialism of it you will be let down. So even if you are far from home and far from loved ones, keep your Christmas spirit and just maybe you'll find that the "love ones [don't need to be] near" for it to be "the most wonderful time of the year."

PS. This post is inspired by the song "It's the most wonderful time of the year" and trying to make Christmas in Korea the most wonderful time of the year.