Now that life has begun.

Imagine a girl, curled up in a big chair in the corner of a room, a laptop sits on her knees and as her fingers glance over the keyboard, her brow furrows in concentration. A question has stumped her - she isn't sure if she understand the grammar point in question.

This is me about a year and a half ago in the midst of the last leg of the journey that has led me to where I am today.Truth be told, the journey of me arriving in Korea and teaching here travels back to the aeons of time and not just to September 2011 when I started studying for my TEFL Qualification. Some of my favourite books as a kid (and beyond, I must admit) were the "Chalet School" Stories by Elinor M Brent Dyer. I loved those books about girls attending a boarding school in Austria and I always had "time to spare" to reread them. I played games in my head where I designed schools, curriculums and imagined teaching my students. Oh, the adventures we had!

As I grew up, my desire to be a teacher did stick with me as my work experience in Secondary School was spent at a local Gaelscoil. However, I hadn't done well in my Leaving Cert so when I finally went to college in 2002, I wasn't 100% sure what I wanted tout of life. I thought (considering my love for books) that maybe I wanted to be a librarian eventually. In truth, I would love to be a librarian or a bookshop owner at some point in my life but reality has a way of kicking you in the bum. Digital is the way most books are going and libraries aren't as popular as they were many moons ago. I remember how, even as a kid, we seemed to be the only kids in our neighbourhood who frequented the several local libraries constantly. Reading just isn't as cool as it once was and with the ever increasing amount of television shows, computer games etc books are fighting what seems to be a losing battle. Even in my own family, I've one brother who came to reading quite late compared to the rest of us ("Harry Potter" reeled him in) and one sister who really doesn't read at all (her favourite book is "Black Beauty" which is the only book she (semi) voluntarily read as a child). However, I worked in the library when I was in college so partly, this dream has been fulfilled. 

Then, I graduated. I started working at a car rental company in the HR department and I realised that teaching was something that I not only enjoyed but was good at. I trained in a lot of work experience / interns and coworkers over the years as well as two people who would go on to manage me. When the time came (after 5+ years) for me to decide what I wanted to do with my life outside of HR (I realised it wasn't something I wanted to do forever), it's probably not surprising that I chose to Teach English as a Foreign Language in Korea.

As I look back on this year, I realise that I have come a long way and I'm so glad that  "[I] let me go...[so that I wasn't] stuck in the same place I've always been". When I arrived I was so nervous. Leaving Ireland had left me emotionally exhausted (see post: I left on a Jet plane ) and I didn't think I'd adjust as easily as I did. I've had an amazing support system from the get-go: a fantastic brother, amazing co-teachers, wonderful friends who have become like family,as well as outstanding family and friends at home...and I've had my determination to make this a memorable experience. Korea (as with any experience) is what you make of it. And for any experience to be a success you have to let go a little and enjoy it, have a bit of determination to stick with it and a desire to actually experience it. In Korea, you have to embrace the culture just a little bit to truly enjoy it here - whether  you start watching K-dramas, listen to K-pop (and not just PSY), or embracing the whole Kimchi Experience. There are tons of things to do and see, people to meet and experiences outside of teaching to be had.

When I first came here, I'd never gone somewhere on a vacation by myself and definitely not to somewhere I'd never been before. Well, I managed to enjoy myself in Korea visiting Seoul museums and spending 5 days alone in Gyeongju (see post: I did survive). I know it's not my favourite way to do things but I learned HOW to do that here. I've learned how to use a smartphone - anyone in my family will tell you when it comes to phones the simpler the better! I've learned a new language and while I am far from proficient I can now use a taxi to get from A to B, I can order my food/drinks and I can understand a few phrases my students throw at me or random strangers ask me. I've learned that acting the eeijit is a completely legit way to entertain children and the sillier you are the funnier they find you. I've learned games are the best way to get kids to practice their vocabulary and that sometimes you need to just drop whatever lesson you had planned and go with the flow. As long as they speak English the main objective has been reached.

Other ways that I have grown are too numerous to count but a few examples are as follows. I've grown more comfortable in my own skin. I am learning how to live by myself, completely - this means doing my own laundry, paying bills on time, waking myself up everyday etc. I only answer to myself. If I forget to pay a bill, the only person that is on is me. When I've lived in accommodation at home, I was responsible for paying bills but only my share. If I were late, someone would always call me or knock on my door. I had stress in my old job but I never pulled something out of thin air before - I have learned to do this consistently in Korea - sometimes a lesson just isn't going the way you want it even if you have the best class in the world. Sometimes, you need to change gear and start doing some thing new to get the kids to focus.

So you might think I'm mad but I feel that I have gotten a lot more out of Korea than I have given to Korea. You might think I'm mad to believe that acting the eeijit is a legitimate way to entertain children and that it's definitely worth it. All, I know is that this has been an incredible year that I wouldn't exchange for the world despite the "usual morning lineup" of my daily life. I no longer need to "wonder when will my life begin". For me the "lights [of opportunity] will [keep] appear[ing]" and I am getting lots of chances to go "out there where they glow".

PS: This post was inspired by a year in Korea
PPS: This post was inspired by the song "When will my life begin" which is sung by Mandy Moore in Tangled. 

Doing a barefoot walk in Daejeon

Lantern Festival, Seoul

Students at Job world

Immersing myself in Korean culture by completing
a puzzle and doing one of the Kimchi poses. 

Seafood in Busan

St Paddy's Day Party, Seoul

I [did] survive

I was afraid, I was petrified, I kept thinking that there was no way I could do this without someone by my side.. Everytime I've tried to do this before, I ended up being with someone else. But then after many days of thinking and realising that either I stood up and did this, or I failed, yet again.......so I grew strong and I learned how to get along......with myself.

Two or three weeks after arriving in Korea, my co-teacher and I sat down and figured out when I would be on holiday (or as they call it here, vacation). I knew that my holidays would start the night of the 10th and end on the 22nd of August.  Excited, I approached a few of my friends to see when their hols started only to be dismayed to realise no one's really conincided with mine. What on earth, could I do? For someone who travels frequently you would think that this wouldn't have been a problem.....unfortunately it was.

What can I say...I am someone who has NEVER gone to a movie by myself. I have never gone to the beach by myself. I rarely go for a long walk by myself and travel by myself........ Well, that is ok as long as it just the plane, train or bus. Once, I arrive at my destination I need to be around people I know. Whenever I wanted to visit a foreign country I always brought a sibling with me. After all, what is the fun of travelling and having experiences if you can't share them with anyone?

So, now you can see my dilemma. Here, I was in a foreign country, with a language I don't know and 7 days (excluding weekends) that needed to be filled.

Even though, I was terrified, petrified of doing everything by myself, I knew that I would have to do it. Afterall, I didn't want to spend the entire time in my apartment watching TV. So, with that in mind, I went on two practice sessions. One was in early July. I was in Seoul and unexpectedly had spare time, so without further ado, I travelled from Itaewon to Gyeongbokgung Palace. When I was walking up the steps at Gwanghwamun subway station, I started to have a mini panic attack and could barely climb those few steps. I took a few deep breaths, berated myself and got to the top. Once I stood and looked at the huge statute of King Sejong and at the palace beyond, I knew I could do. Putting my fear behind me I proceeded to the palace and paying the small entry fee walked inside and spent about 35 minutes walking around. I liked it so much that I agreed with my brother we would visit it a few weeks later.

That day, I was on the early train arriving in around 10 am. My brother wouldn't arrive until 1pm. What to do, what to do? So, reminding myself that when Life gives us Lemons we have to make lemonade....I made my way to the history museum of Korea with absolutely no panic attacks. What a fantastic morning I had wandering around the gardens and then the exhibits. By the time I met my brother, I knew that even though I would struggle being so much by myself, I would be able to manage wandering around Korea without any familiar companionship.

I, also, knew I wouldn't survive 12 days without a little familiarity so, my brother and I agreed to meet in the afternoons of his three last days in Korea. I would spend the morning doing some sightseeing and in the afternoon we would hangout together. Additionally, an old family friend is also teaching in Korea so I went to visit her for a couple of days as well. After that, I was on my own.

I spent 5 days in Gyeongju a town on the East coast of Korea. It's a beautiful town and I would love to go back again someday. I didn't visit too many of the sights but instead I relaxed, took naps, read "Clear and Present Danger" and altogether enjoyed wandering around the town and spending some alone time with myself.. There were other people in the hostel who I was able to chat to in the evening, which was a welcome relief from my own company - there are only so many times that you can say "Smile" and take a picture of yourself without getting bored!                                          

So, you might think I'm mad to have never traveled alone and spent time by myself anywhere whilst on holiday. And....you might think I'm mad when I say that when even when I did travel by myself, I wouldn't want to do this again unless I had no other choice. Why? Well, I discovered  I CAN survive  - I didn't crumble or lay down and die:  I can do museums, palaces and parks by myself but that I feel awkward doing the one arm photograph or asking strangers to take my picture every time I want one. Furthermore, at the end of the day it's nice to share your experiences with someone else....especially those involving food!  

PS This post was inspired by Gloria Gaynor's "I will survive"
PPS the top picture is  from Gyeongbokgung palace on the day that I went there by myself. The next set of pictures are from the History Museum of Korea and it's gardens. The vessels you see were completely filled with jewels, etc when they were excavated. The next set are my brother and I at Gyeongbokgung palace later that day. The remaining pictures are from Gyeongju.